Dad this week

Lately it seems that Dad has been more tired. It has also been more difficult to get him to get up from sitting (he'll say he wants to get up, but then wants to rub his arms repeatedly, in almost a ritual-like fashion.) It takes quite a bit of prompting, and sometimes really grabbing his arm to get him to stand up. Lois said that he's still doing his walks each day, but she has noticed the same difficulty in transitioning him.

Earlier this week, I had the sense that Dad was "stewing" and was perhaps mad at me for some reason. I noticed it first one night when after dinner, he didn't want to get up and go to the bathroom, or move over to the couch. When I tried to get him to get up he sort of said angrily, "I'm going to stay here for an hour!". Eventually I got him to bed (after 10:30pm that night.) The next night, he seemed to have a similar "sourness" about him. So I looked at him and said, "Dad, are you mad at me, why are you mad at me?" and he responded something like "because you're not spending the money like you should." We went back and forth a little with me trying to understand the gist of what he was saying and his comments vascillated between "you need to spend all the money today" and "you don't have any money, you're using my money", "you're not doing the right thing", 'you've got to spend the money," "it's not in the bank" and such. He made one comment about not knowing where his money was, so I got out the computer to try and show him his checking account balance, money market and expenses and trying to reassure him that he does have money, and that it's safe and that I'm doing my best to manage it and that I share information regularly with Chip, Justine, Cathy, Jennie, Ken. Of course I realize it's probably not a good idea to challenge him, but it's hard when he looks at me and tells me "you're not doing it right!" I tried to remain calm and responded that I loved him and I didn't understand why he was mad at me. EVentually I said "do you trust anyone Dad?" and he responded "Well I trust you, " so then I said well good, because I loved him and I'm doing the best I can to help take care of him. After that, he seemed to back down and since has lost that "sourness" and seems more friendly. Ultimately I do think it was a good idea for me to directly address what I was feeling and to discuss it with him, even though I realize that his thoughts are probably not clear on the entire matter.

My theory is that perhaps Dad's thoughts wander and he makes presumptions...every day while Lois is here, he sees me quite busy in and out and around the house doing all sorts of things, on my computer, on the phone, etc and he does not get a lot of direct conversation with me during those times. I think maybe from his perspective I'm being secretive? It probably also doesn't help that we do have CNN on TV a lot, particularly in the evening when we are in the family room, and of course there's lots of money discussions about banks, etc. Who knows. Anyway, I'm glad that he's been more pleasant to me since then, though I am still concerned about his slow-moving.

Oh, the other interesting story was early last week when Dad was telling me how there was an 8-foot snake in his bed. He had mentioned something before when we were going to bed about there being snakes at the bottom of the bed. Then, that night last week, he mentioned the 8-foot snake again, and I said I don't think there's any snakes in here, and I pulled the covers all teh way down and he said "I know, I held it in my hands!" I wondered if it might be one of my cats, who I have seen go in his room and sleep at the bottom of the bed. I tried to suggest to Dad, "maybe it was the cat" and he said, "No it wasn't a cat. I ought to know. I held it in my hands, I know it was a snake, an 8-foot snake!"

Also, after Dad's last visit with Ken & Judy (weekend of March 6 and start of Daylight Savings), on Sunday, March 8th (Happy belated birthday Chip and Jacob!), he had gone to bed around 10. That night around midnight I heard something in his room over the monitor. Paul and I were still up. He had gotten up (1st time at my house getting up at night!) and had made his way over towards the door and had actually fallen down. Paul and I helped him up and he was jovial about it and said he wasn't hurt, except small scrape on his arm (rug burn perhaps.) Got him to go back to bed, then around 2am I heard him again (from the monitor in my room) and went down and found him up again. He was saying he needed to find his suit in the closet and seemed concerned about getting dressed. He was confused about the time and I kept trying to say he had a lot more sleeping to do, it was middle of the night, we'd get dressed in the morning, etc. He wanted me to leave a light on, and ultimately needed me to show him the clock as well, which I put on the chair right next to the bed so he could see it. He asked me to do that for the next couple of nights, but since has not asked for it.

I noticed a slightly raised red mark on Dad's forehead. I have put a call into a dermatologist (recommended by my friend) to set up an appointment. I also have made a dentist appointment for him with a dentist recommended by my kids' dentist. He goes back to the Podiatrist on the 30th of March.