Group Photo and Dad's Room Photos

Dad's 94th Birthday

Today I went to visit Dad and take him out to lunch for his birthday. At Emerald Isle, they had brought him a cake, so we all sat at the table and sang Happy Birthday to Dad before I took him out (photos below.) I also took some pictures of his room. They had hung the photo of Mom on the wall surrounded by hearts that I brought in when Dad first moved in 3 weeks ago...at some point I plan to bring in more of the navy and other photos from home.

On the way from the house to the car, Al was assisting and Dad was saying he "didn't feel right" and didn't think he could make it, though he continued to walk and make it to the car. When I arrived at Subway (not fancy, but I had to return to my house to pick up Dad's wheelchair, and was a little short on time...besides, this Subway has a nice ocean view!) I asked Dad if he wanted to walk in the walker or sit in the wheelchair, he said he wanted to walk, and did fine the rest of the time. He ate up his turkey sandwich and chips heartily.

During lunch Dad seemed hungry and not too talkative, but responsive to my questions. When I asked him if he liked the new house he said Yes. I mentioned that Ryland and Paul had left early this morning to go snowboarding for the long weekend. Then I asked him if he had ever skied and he said yes, in the mountains. Does anyone know if that's true?

Al mentioned that Dad has been sleeping well ever since the 1st week and said that he felt that Dad had "settled in" nicely. They added Dad's picture to their bulletin board (previously had just the 4 ladies, now Dad's picture is in the center surrounded by the other ladies)...they are calling it "Charlie's Angels."

Friday night

Tonight I stopped by to see Dad on my way to see a play at the local theater (with several friends from my charity group, Special Children's League.) I brought a gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice cream over and got him a bowl and sat with him for a little while in the living room. He seemed comfortable and we chatted a little. He mentioned it was nice to see me, and his smile was bright and friendly. Somehow we got to talking about "girlfriends" and I commented that he has a few girlfriends here, and he laughed. I talked about his birthday coming up and when I asked him if he knew how old he would be, he said 73. That is the same age he has told me several times in the past year when I have asked him.

By the way, he has now been moved into the originally planned room (as the other lady has passed away), and it is quite nice.

Emerald Isle Week 2

On Saturday I called the house to let them know that Ken was planning to come by later in the afternoon. I spoke to Al and he mentioned that Dad got up again the night before (luckily no hitting though!) I think it was just once during the night that he got up, but then Al mentioned that he moved Dad to his recliner, and then he slept there the rest of the night. I suggested that in my experience I thought it was better to get him back to bed, reminding him that it's not time to be awake. I think Al is a bit reluctant to be too firm or insistent with Dad, to ensure Dad doesn't get angry, which I can understand. Hopefully over time they'll get to know each other better and be able to work through this.

On Sunday I stopped by to see Dad. He was relaxing and watching the Laker Game. He gave me a big smile and nice greeting when I saw him, and he was speaking very alertly, though wasn't very talkative. He had slept fine the night before.

I also stopped by to see Dad this evening during dinner. He was enjoying chicken pot pie and a nice lettuce/tomato salad. Seemed too focused on dinner to want to talk to me. I chatted a little with Juana (pronounced Wonna) and Al. They reported that Dad was able to play bingo today without assistance...finding the letters/numbers without help (he didn't do that when I had played with him a couple of weeks ago.) They continue to report that Dad is eating well and having daily bowel movements. I'm not sensing over-concern on their part (at least at this point) about the two incidents with Dad's wake-ups.

However, I have contacted Dad's doctor asking whether he would recommend any kind of medication that could be given to Dad (only as needed) on these nights/instances where he doesn't seem to sleep well and/or gets anxious, agitated or overly confused. Turns out it's not a good idea to give a sleeping pill or "sedative" type of drug as that poses more of a fall risk. He is recommending "Haldol" in a very low dose. My good friend whose husband is a palliative care doctor also recommends it.
Again, the intent would be only to administer on an as-needed basis. When I take the pills over there tomorrow, I"m going to ask that I be contacted whenever they need to give it to him (after the fact of course, but that will allow me to keep track and monitor the situation.)

Dad today

I stopped by to see Dad around 5:30pm. He was sitting at the table after finishing his dinner. They were planning to give him some strawberries and whip cream for dessert. Mamie, the 105 gal was sitting at the table too. Apparently her son, who visits frequently makes a point of talking to Dad because he was also in the military (marines). Mamie told me that her husband (deceased) was in the army and another son, who has also died, was in the Navy. making the point of covering every branch of service.

Dad was responsive when spoken to but then would put his head down and look down in his lap. When I asked him if he enjoyed his dinner, he said "I haven't had my dinner yet" which is something he used to say to me a lot as well. He was also mentioning something about "8 days" as well as mentioning that "he (referring to Al) gets it all set up for him." I also spoke to Anna who is the gal who fills in for Al on his day off and she mentioned that she had cared for Dad yesterday on Al's day off. She said everything has been going fine, and also that Dad's bowel movements have been coming daily for the last few days.

Laura, who is back in town having been gone for a few weeks, is planning to visit Dad tomorrow. Perhaps Ken will come up this weekend, and I will certainly try to get by there on the weekend as well.

Dad update

Hi everyone,

Got a call from Chris (administrator at Emerald Isle) yesterday morn... apparently Dad got up the night before a couple of times. Not sure of the exact chain of events, but Al heard Dad come out of the room (approx 2:30am?), walking without a walker, and holding his shoes from his closet. Al got him back to bed for a little while, and then when he got up again, Al let him sit in the recliner in the living room. Al sleeps on the couch in the living room by the way....at some point, Dad had walked over to the couch and apparently "hit" Al on the head while he was sleeping!

Chris mentioned that up to that point, Dad had been doing great...eating and sleeping well, conversing with others, etc. I had previously mentioned to them about the night time incidents, and certainly it is something they know can happen and are willing to deal with (to a point...if it persists, they may request additional night time care/support). However, she did raise the concern, which I share, about the physical aggression...not sure what Dad might have been thinking. Hopefully as he becomes more familiar with everyone, it won't happen again.

I stopped by yesterday and spoke to Al, who didn't seem shaken by the incident nor express concern. Dad was enjoying his lunch, but not very talkative. Al said his approach, in general, is not to force Dad to do anything he doesn't want to (giving him "time" and space when needed, for example), which is something I had discussed with him before (noting that Dad will sometimes get angry if forced when he's not ready.)

This morning I spoke to the other gal there and she said Dad slept fine last night and was doing great.

Transition weekend

I stopped by to see Dad Saturday afternoon. He was relaxing in a reclining chair that was in his room. The bedroom is quite nice...it's at the back of the house and has a fireplace and couch, along with a dresser, cabinet style closet and the recliner they put in there. I spent some more time sharing Dad's routine and various things with Al while there. I took Dad for a stroll around the outside of the house and he was moving well. Went to the great room table (two other ladies were in the sitting area watching TV during that time.) I shared the beach house family photo where Dad immediately recognized himself, and when I pointed to Mom he said that was me. I corrected him and went through the rest of the family. He seemed in good spirits, but was quite sleepy. Started to initiate a puzzle but he kept looking down and closing his eyes, so we walked back to the recliner in his room and I let him rest. It seems as though that's sort of a common "siesta" time at the house (after lunch). Al says he has a half hour break around that time. Al reported by the way, that Dad had slept well the night before, and also that he was a little surprised to hear Dad say "aw shit" when Al was helping him pull of the t-shirt for the shower n the morning. I have previously heard Dad use that term before, though not that often.

Today I just made a quick stop by on my way back from the Farmer's market...I dropped off a pint of strawberries and a tangerine for Dad. He had just finished lunch and Al was about to take him to the bathroom (in hopes for a bowel movement...didn't have one yesterday.) Dad gave me a big bright smile when I said Hi. I asked him how he was doing and he said something to the effect of "this guy's going to help me out" (referring to Al.) Al said he has named him his "captain" and I told him I thought Dad would like being called that, though Charlie was fine too. Am hoping to make a longer visit later this afternoon. I'll try to remember to get my camera out to take some photos that I could post.

Move to Emerald Isle

Dad moved over to Emerald Isle today. I had been talking to him about it the last few days, and his response had actually been quite positive when I mentioned it. For example, last night when I mentioned "tomorrow you'll be moving to the new house", he responded with a big smile and said "That sounds good."

Lois reported that Dad was pretty up and about this morning, but by lunchtime was a bit tired and dozing. He had lunch and we got him in my car to go over around 2pm. After arriving we went to the couch that is in his bedroom and Al(fred) sat down with us and asked questions about Dad, family, background etc. Chris, the administrator arrived around 2:45 and I moved into the kitchen with her to review all the paperwork. Meanwhile, Lois stayed back with Dad and Al in the room to give "tips." Together they took Dad for a little walk and to the bathroom.

Unfortunately I was fighting a migraine this afternoon so wasn't feeling that well. Once I finished the paperwork I returned home (to greet Dylan from school.) Paul came home early so I could rest. I had arranged with Haydee to have a shift at the new place tonight, and was originally going to go over with her, but instead Paul took her over. Took an Excedrin and rested, and am feeling better now. Spoke to Haydee this evening and she reported that she liked the house and the caregivers there, and that Dad seemed to be doing fine, though was tired. I think they will start to have Dad adjust to their schedule, which is about an hour or more earlier (to bed and to wake) than what he did here at my house.

Will be stopping by tomorrow to check in and see how things are going.

Mr Dancy Update Thursday

When i arrived Mr Dancy was awake but did not want to get up. I tried several times then just waited until he was ready. He went back to sleep and slept until 9:30am after getting up he began his day with his regular morning routine of care and then had breakfast later on he participated in a ball exercise both morning and afternoon. He viewed his family photos but was not able to identify anyone other than himself. He had lunch and while eating he began throwing his food from his plate with his spoon on the table several times as i was preparing the rest of his lunch. I had to move it out of the way until i sat at the table with him. He did not seem angry while doing it but it was done out of confusion because he tried to pick up his walker and throw it twice when he first got from his chair to go and eat. He did stop after i told him not to toss the food and that he had to eat it and he did not through it anymore. He rested the remainder of the day.

Mr Dancy Update Wednesday

Upon arrival Mr Dancy was awake and ready to get up. He began his day with his regular morning routine of care and then ate breakfast and participated in a puzzle game for both morning and afternoon about 45 mins to 1hr. He walked inside due to rain both morning and afternoon he went to his room and watched tv and participated in a ball exercise for a short time. He rested the remainder of the day.

Mr Dancy Update Tuesday

Upon arrival Mr Dancy was awake and began conversation and ready to get up. He did his regular morning routine of care and had breakfast. He participated in a card game for about 30 to 45 mins and walked around in the house due to rain. He went to his room and watched TV for a while and later on had lunch and then participated in a puzzle game for about 40 mins and went to his room and viewed some family photos and then relaxed the remainder of the day.

Mr Dancy Update Saturday

When i arrived Mr Dancy was awake and was in a good mood. He began his day with showering etc. He then ate breakfast and participated in a card game and went outside for his morning walk. He returned inside and went to his room and exercised with the ball and then dosed off and later had lunch and prepared for trip to kennys house. He had a good day.

Mr Dancy Update Friday

When i arrived Mr Dancy was awake and appeared to be in a good mood and began conversating and ready to get up. He began his day with his regular morning routine of care and ate breakfast and after breakfast he partcipated in a game for 1 hour. He seem to be very interested in the game. He went outside both morning and afternoon for his walks and he returned inside and rested and later on he had lunch. He was not interested in partcipating in any activities for the afternoon so finally was able to get him to participate in a ball exercise and he just wanted to rest afterwards. He had a good day and moved around great.

Mr Dancy Update Thursday

Mr Dancy was awake when i arrived and was happy to get up and get his day started. He began his day with showering etc and then had breakfast and participated in a card game and later went to the doctor to get his tb skin test read. He returned home and had lunch but was very tired and fell asleep at the table i had to continue to tell him to eat his lunch finally he did and he told me that he was tired. He had a long walk at the doctors and i am sure that is why he was tired. He did look through his navy book and did a little exercise with the ball until he became tired again and stopped. He rested the remainder of the day.

Mr Dancy Update Wednesday

Mr Dancy was up when i arrived. He already had breakfast and i took him for a walk and he went to sleep for about 2 hours. He did not want to get up finally he did and did not eat his lunch very very tired and continued to sleep at the table. I had a very difficult time getting him to move after about a hour he finally got up and went to his room and continued to sleep again. He did not want to get up for supper. I was able to get him to do some ball exercises and afterwards he still would not move and became very upset so i had to get barb to assist me with getting him up. Finally after getting him to the dining table he had supper and then went for walk and then prepared for bed and is now sleeping.

Mr Dancy Update Tuesday

When i arrived Mr Dancy was up in the restroom. I was informed that he had gotten up prior to my arrival and was moving around without his walker. He began talking a lot about getting ready to go golfing but stated he did not feel like so i told him not to worry about it. He tried to get up as i was gathering his clothing, i told him to stay seated until i returned and he did. He showered and had breakfast and earlier before i arrived. He sat in his room and watched tv and was asking a lot of questions which i tried to answer as best i could and then he looked through his family photo pictures and was able to identify barb,cathy,his wife,kenneth and wife and jenny by calling names. He seemed to have a hard time seeing things out of his left eye he seem to strain that eye to see things. He later participated in a ball exercise until he became tired this was the longest time i seen him play and dosed off immediately after he finished. He was told that by barb that he needed to go to doctor for his tb shot and wanted to know why he was going there and why he had to get one and who set this up and was i getting one and the questions continued throughout the entire ride there and during the office visit and questioned the nurse. He became extremely tired upon returning home to the degree i was able get him to move for several hours he did have to walk a pretty good way so maybe that along with the ball exercise triggered the tiredness. He did eat lunch and rested the remainder of the day.

Mr Dancy Update Tuesday

Mr Dancy Update Tuesday

Monday night/Tues Morn

Last night, Dad was doing a lot of independent moving again, and asking a lot of questions, like where is his office, and who lives in the house, who was the man that was here earlier, etc. He couldn't believe that Paul and I had been married for 19 years, or that I was 50 (I'll take that as a compliment!) I told him I was born in 1959, and immediately he said, well it can't be 2009, to which I said it is 2010, and showed him today's newspaper. He kept complaining about his back (I'm not going to be able to do much with this back") and saying he couldn't walk, yet kept getting up on his own after sitting for short periods of time. He wasn't seeking the walker much, and was moving fairly well, reaching out with his hands to hold things when needed (and of course I was watching him and helping if needed.) He kept asking about where his car was (which I explained he didn't have one here) and he kept saying we needed to go to the car so he could show me something. So I walked him to the garage and showed him my car, and that seemed to settle that.

I suspected he would get out of bed if I put him too early, so after going to the bathroom (during which he also got up), and geting his PJs on, I got him in his room in his chair to watch TV, while I was trying to get Dylan to bed. Of course, he wanted to get up again. Ryland helped me out by tossing the ball with him while I got Dylan to bed. Then I took over and he seemed to be getting a little tired, and a little more distracted from the discussion. Then I gave him a back/shoulder/head rub in the chair to try and relax him...eventually got him to bed by 10pm or so.

At 1:30am Ryland alerted me on the intercom that Dad was up and I came down the stairs to find him in the living room, walking with the walker. I took him back to his bedroom, took him to the bathroom (where his instinct was to pee standing up, which he did somewhat successfully), removed his wet diaper and was able to get him back to bed. He kept asking if we were "downtown" and making reference to sleeping in a bunk with people all around him and being lost. He was saying he didn't know how he got here...I told him I had brought him here a year ago. I reiterated, I'm your daughter Barbara, to which he responded, "Oh I understand you're my daughter Barbara." I explained he was safe here in my house. I decided to tie a tambourine to a string on the door so that if Dad came out again I would be more likely to hear (I do have the monitor, but he is so stealthy!).

When I woke up at 6:50 am this morning and came down the stairs, Dad was in the kitchen, holding a throw blanket, no walker. I got him to sit at the counter and gave him some juice, cereal and muffin to occupy him so I could prep my kids' lunches, get ready for school. Still wanted to get up a lot, and at one point said, "I guess I won't be able to play golf anymore with this back." After getting Dylan off to school, walked with Dad to the bedroom, and got him to sit on the toilet in the bathroom. On the way I mentioned that he was 93 years old and he said "really...that can't be true". I told him he was born in 1916, and again, he quickly did the math and said, well that's 84 years, to which I said that's 2000, but now it's 2010. Got him to the toilet and then Lois arrived. I'm guessing at some point he's going to hit a wall where he becomes really tired like he did last week after the two anxious days following his fall at Ken's...we'll see!

Mr Dancy Update Monday

Upon arrival Mr Dancy was awake and began talking immediately. He began his day with his regular morning routine of care. He ate breakfast and then participated in a card game was very alert today and aware of his surroundings. He went outside for a walk and returned inside to his room and he began telling me that his picture was on the wall and the other picture was his wife suzie so i got the family photo album out and he was able to identify kenneth,barb,cathy,and jenny. He ask me where was kenneth at i told him probably working and he ask me who house this was i told him barb and he asked me where was she at and when did she buy the house and who lived in here before she moved here. He was very interested in watching tv today. He went to eat lunch but stated to me that he just was not to hungry so he did not eat very much. After lunch i asked him if wanted to play game and he said he just wanted to relax. I took him to his room and he asked to lay down and wanted to watch tv and that is exactly what he did. He asked me to turn to channel 3 and i did. He began asking me about his bank book and i told him that i did not know where that was that he would have to talk to barb about that and he continued to ask about his banking info so i told him to talk to barb about that when she gets home. He moved around very well today and rested the remainder of the day.